Serial Self-misrepresentation

My time off since my last role has been varied, plenty of good and bad, but lately has been suffused with struggle and difficulty, both emotionally and physically. I mention this because I seem to have become a serial self-misrepresenter online: when I mention problems/struggles in my life to friends and family directly, they are taken aback. Almost everyone responds that from my photos and posts I seem to be so happy and successful, but it’s rarely how I feel. I think I censor the bad/sad/confused feelings and try to communicate neutrally or positively via imagery or absurdity, probably because I have a hard time processing all the terribleness of the world or what to do about it, especially when I’m fraught with my own baggage.

[Note: this is an abbreviated version of a Facebook post shared to my friends. I’m leaving it out of context as both a minor insight into my character and as a point of exploration for later expansion.]

I need to practice practicing

I find I’m lacking practice in my life. Yoga practice, guitar practice, programming practice, practicing material I’ve recently learned (for retention), practicing a 2nd language, practicing random acts of kindness; all sorts of practice. I think a lecture on Marxism as “a Philosophy of Praxis” that I watched recently, along with a couple of talks given by Jordan Peterson (here and here), have really thrust the notion of practice to the front of my purview.

Practice can be fun, and even when it’s not, knowing that it’s crucial to improvement should be enough to motivate me to do it.