Serial Self-misrepresentation

My time off since my last role has been varied, plenty of good and bad, but lately has been suffused with struggle and difficulty, both emotionally and physically. I mention this because I seem to have become a serial self-misrepresenter online: when I mention problems/struggles in my life to friends and family directly, they are taken aback. Almost everyone responds that from my photos and posts I seem to be so happy and successful, but it’s rarely how I feel. I think I censor the bad/sad/confused feelings and try to communicate neutrally or positively via imagery or absurdity, probably because I have a hard time processing all the terribleness of the world or what to do about it, especially when I’m fraught with my own baggage.

[Note: this is an abbreviated version of a Facebook post shared to my friends. I’m leaving it out of context as both a minor insight into my character and as a point of exploration for later expansion.]

work work work

13hr work day with a good 1hr commute padding on each end. i hope i don’t have one of those nights where i end up coding in my dreams. maybe if i’m lucky my mom will txt me a picture of east-coast snow at 6am again (a respectable 9am her time, but still). or better yet, the guy in the apt above me will either a) run on his treadmill at 7am, or b) play a drum machine, or c) both, as is apparently his wont

a pic my mom took of the recent snow in PA. my backyard of the house i grew up in

This post originally started as a facebook status update, and just barely didn’t make it at 462 characters, with the cutoff something around 440. i decided i should probably just put it on my blog—and maybe start capitalizing some letters—which i spent more time setting up than actually posting to. And speaking of character limits, I should probably start a Twitter account, not because i want or need to, but because the work i’m doing at my new job is directly affected by twitter. i recently started as a web developer at Silicon Valley start-up Kosmix, working on their social media “search engine” tweetbeat.com. From the site: “Tweetbeat is a real-time source for what people are saying about any major event.”

* LiveFollow event streams to see up-to-the-minute reactions from fans, experts and celebs.
* Replay tweets from earlier events.
* Watch Firsthand commentary from key people and players at the event.
* Read Headlines about the event from top news sources.
* Get Recommendations for people to follow who share your event interests.
* Search for events happening right now.

(just a bit of promotion, bear with me!) recently, for Obama’s State of the Union address, ABC’s broadcast used data from tweetbeat to show how people were reacting to the speech via their tweets, and even mentioned the site by name twice—a big deal for a relatively small company like Kosmix. my colleagues were stoked, and we’ll be preparing to up our game and provide more relevant data and interaction with the community for upcoming big events (i hear there’s a football game sometime next weekend…) Working on a site whose main attraction is what’s trending and what’s a hot topic at the moment, I can pretty much guarantee you that I hear more about Justin Bieber daily than all of you combined*.

Alright, off to bed before more delirium sets in. I’ve always found my knack for writing kicks in in altered states of mind, and delirium is no exception. Serious delirium.

Serious delirium

NYC signing September 1,2009 Nintendo Store - NYC
* I apologize for this